To answer a long and passionate comment….

My last post made someone who’s called Curiosetta make a very long and passionate comment.

So here is my answer to it.

1.’Before men were allowed to have the vote they had to agree to fight wars for the state. Five minutes later (historically speaking) women demanded the vote and got it without any obligations at all.’

Well I don’t understand the logic of it. Do you have to kill first to deserve the right to vote? And I think Curiosetta should study history more thoroughly.

Women were fighting before and are in the army now. They fought for their right to join armies, but here we go. Many women died during WW2, many died before.

Voting rights were never connected to ability to join the army. Even peasants and commoners were forced to fight, and they never had the right to vote. It was always about the money. Whoever was wealthy, had land, money and paid tax, was given the right to vote. And as the history goes, there were only men. Women were a second class citizen, not allowed to inherit money or have a business. Anyone can find examples in classics like Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin, where even though our heroin’s father was quite well of, his daughters only option not to die in poverty, was to get married to a wealthy man. Mr Collins, next male of keen, was the one who would take all after Mr Bennet’s death, as he was the male relative. Curiosetta says, there are women looking for a wealthy husband, but that comes from a long history of injustice in the first place.

Second issue:’As for getting paid for work, women earn the same (or even slightly more) than men provided they both have the same experience, qualification, work history etc. However this is often not the case because women often CHOOSE to take more time off, work less hours, or work in less demanding sectors where pay is less (but job satisfaction, job security, job flexibility etc is greater). Not all pay is money. Many jobs pay in other ways such as more flexible hours, more interesting and rewarding work, less stress and so on.’

I don’t know where Curiosetta gets that information from but quickly – in EU gender pay gap is on average 16.4% (in UK 19%). In USA in 2013, among full-time, year-round workers, women were paid 78 percent of what men were paid. For a reason there is an impression ‘glass ceiling’ and Curiosetta should start from reading statistics. Not to mention that low paid jobs are always full of women, as soon as the job becomes better paid, there are men in it (nurses for example).

Few times in the comment Curiosetta goes back to say that women work less hours, they are unproductive gender, they work flexible hours and welfare takers. Doesn’t seem to see that the reason for it, conveniently, is that women give birth and are the main caregivers for children. If men were giving birth, breastfeeding and taking care of children, situation would look a bit different. And because of that women are affected when they look for a job, also how flexible they need their job to be. I wouldn’t go so far to say it’s less stressful. That’s insulting to any mother and also plain ignorant.

Next:’Again, if you think it’s unfair just swap the genders. Imagine men demanding to be paid the same as women even when they have less experience, less qualifications and a less consistent work history. Is that fair?’

No, it isn’t my dear Curiosetta, especially that it is actually women’s reality. Women have to be better educated, more experience than men at work to get ahead. Not to look far – I have a well paid job, MA in Philosophy, BA in Advertising, postgraduate diploma in psychology and my bosses are all men without A-levels who are quite illiterate and don’t understand words like ‘nepotism’, ‘misogyny’ or ‘melancholy’. As you can imagine they are on 10 000 per year more than me.

And when it comes to death rate at work – we are talking manual labour here. Yes, it is mostly done by men. Times are changing though and there is more women being allowed to work in the same industries as men. Accidents at work happen. Although I have to say one thing. There is the same amount of men and women at my work. Women are driving, operating vehicles, etc. They are the ones who are always laughed at about parking and driving abilities. So to avoid jokes, they are very cautious. 90% accidents at my workplace involve men. They are more cocky and therefore less careful.

So I wouldn’t call women privileged with less stressful jobs, because it’s not the reality. I want to have a choice of a job and the right to do so.
I can’t change someone’s disillusions and views of equality. I wander if Curiosetta would like going back to the 50s or 1870, would she like not having a choice to study or work, the only option being a wife and mother. Would she still say it’s a cushty, lazy life?
I don’t care what the answer is, I am just so grateful for brave generations of men and women who fought for equality, giving me the chance to live my life the way I want, being able to work, study, travel (without a chaperon), do what I want with the money I earned. I feel so lucky and privileged.
That’s why I would never understand people who think that feminism is the evil of the world. It is for patriarchy, as men have to compete with women now, not just shut us in the kitchen. But luckily there are men who want a partner in their life, not a slave.



Day of running around….

I was in the middle of responding to last comment my post caused when I realized I had to go to work. So I rushed out of the door. Then I was busy at work as what I do is highly affected by the weather…So I was off my feet for 9 long hours…

Then I came home, made what was in the fridge for dinner (which was wilted spinach with fried eggs and ciabatta).

And then I had realized I needed a glass of wine and to put my feet up or I would explode or start cleaning the house till I collapse…

And then I accidently started watching ‘The Firm’ on TV…

So it’s pretty clear that the serious stuff had to wait….Till tomorrow…Have a good weekend peeps x.


My neighbour, a feminist.

images (1)

I had an interesting conversation with my neighbour. He is a typical lad and in his  head, feminists were hairy, fat, ugly women who wanted to demasculinize all men. I told him I’m a feminist, which made him feel uncomfortable. But then we talked a bit about work, and how it should be paid. About voting and if someone wants to vote or go to University, they should have the right to do so. I asked him if it should make a difference what gender you were to be allowed to earn the same, have the right to vote, or to get an education. I also asked him if his daughter (providing he had one, and she was an only child) should be allowed to inherit his money and his house, or should it be taken from her because she was a girl. He seemed a bit confused and upset. Of course she should get everything that belonged to him, she would be his only descendant!

So I told him he was a feminist because he demanded same rights for women as men had for decades. That left him gobsmacked.

Tomorrow I’m going to shake his world by inviting him to dinner and introducing him to veganism….

From an optimist to a realist


Yesterday I was on the bus home when an old 80s song came on the radio (the radio the driver was listening to). It got me thinking…

So many people get sentimental about certain decades, just because they were happy then. They love music, fashion, films from that period. My childhood wasn’t happy and I was definitely never fond of the 80s music…

But the song made me feel a bit weird and sort of nostalgic. And I know I wouldn’t like to go back to that period as it would mean: 1. living in poverty in a 30m2 flat, 2. having to deal with my mother’s depression and alcoholism, 3.grey streets and clothes of the communistic era, etc, etc. But I felt an impulsive longing for that feeling only children can experience. That feeling that anything is possible, not caring that reality bites. Because you didn’t know that yet. Everything was just taking shape and as a child I used to be an optimist. And the feeling of ‘anything is  possible’ and anything can happen, the feeling of expecting something great to happen was always there.

I wished it stayed.

Because I am a realist now. And I long for the feeling of expectations and possibilities…